The Riot Van
Saturday, 14 March 2009
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stone me i'll stone you
(I) In this sweet Madness / xx says:
mm.. but crying doesnt actually define your emotions
(I) In this sweet Madness / xx says:
youre not crying but perhaps youre feeling the worst pain of allis that it? is that true?
i'm thinking little at all
about nothing in particular
and i'm blue. the colour of dreams
another wasted breath
again i go unnoticed, then she says
'face down in the dirt' does it hurt
not at all i'm indifferent (pain, make your way
to me, to me)
i'm happier without you, (if i ever start to think
straight, this heart
will start a riot in me)
these words are my own
from my heart flown
i hate you i hate you i hate you (and i
will always love you)
i don't need any of you (i need
something inside that you can't provide me)
so cry me a fucking river
bitch.i need you all back :( i miss you guys.
Friday, 13 March 2009
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fake plastic trees
No, I don't cry on the outside anymore.
it's crazy how you can know a person so well, so many shared memories, so many good times and bad times, so much understanding between each other from so many fights before, before everything.
too much, too fast, too happy, too sad, too painful, too extreme.
now i can't even look at you cos you make me sick.
i've become so numb i can't feel you there
am i beautiful? am i useable. it's killing time again. so put on your face and let's pretend these killing lights won't kill us all again.
i hate feeling desperate. desperate for someone to care, desperate for people to notice, desperate for people not to notice, desperate for something that feels real, that i don't need to pretend to be happy for, something i can turn to.
aaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, 07 March 2009
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you wear me out
went on the XTREME SWING at clarke quay today.. heard it was scarier than reverse bungee but i kinda found reverse bungee scarier.
got a small bottle of conditioner that is supposedly charged with Fe3O4 that's supposed to make my hair all positively charged with magnetic ions or something. inneresting. luckily i didnt use it before i went on the swing or i get strike by lightning ah.
Just rekindled my love for MCR by watching their whole DVD (bought it in sec2), life on the murder scene. I realised i kinda love mikey way (gerard's brother) a lot. possibly as much as gerard.
omg cara serius?!?!?!?!? but... but you LOVE gerard the most!!!11
yeah. i know right?!? but there's just something about his calm demeanour.. the way he slams on his guitar so gently..not too much of that head banging nonsense, more like 'i'm freaking cool but i don't know it, and i sure don't act it'. looks like the type that will rush to get the door for me and rock me to sleep with a different guitar every night. He wears glasses too. glasses. on a rockstar/guitarstar.
HOW. CUTE. IS. THAT.
very. the answer is VERY, cute.
and i went to their website, and they have this little tagboard thing just for the band. and mikey said:
'root beer floats are all they drink on planet awesome.'
I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
mikey and gerard way. wow. their parents must be proud!
have a good night people. i hope that i'll make it through another dark age (for the second time in my whole sec sch life. SO UNFAIR, i tell you.)
Thursday, 05 March 2009
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suck it
sucks that we're the only victims in this whole debacle don't it.
DREADING school tomorrow.
kill me.
please? -
down we go...
i can't believe you blatantly lied to people that you 'miss cara' and you 'want to be cara's friend but she is angry with me' to try and gain sympathy, right after you told me 'i'm so much happier without you and i am so glad i chose her, not you'.
i'm glad you chose her too, bitchdickonastick. go find some other unfortunate girl to be your substitute.
p.s. lesbian marriages are legal in massachusetts
p.p.s. i don't appreciate you manhandling me like that.
p.p.p.s. i hope it was all worth it.
p.p.p.p.s. eat shit.
Saturday, 28 February 2009
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cara eat world
we did this song for the auditions, and we didnt get in cos we only had 5 mins to practice as a full band, so yeah it was expected. but we did what we could in spite of common tests and a few problems here and there. at least we had fun :) anyway i found this song to be super APT to me, somehow.
The Middle - Jimmy Eat World.Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.It just takes some time,
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright, alright
Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own,
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else.Soooo true. I'll be alright, alright!
Thank you God God God! And friends, thanks so much for caring about me. If i were an outsider, i'd be quite annoyed at me cos i'm so... low. But thanks so much for not giving up on me. For caring.
to you know who you are: i'm so glad we're friends again.
God gives and takes away huh?
p.s. i hope you're happy, honestly, i do.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
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here's to you and your temper
its the people you care about so much that can hurt you the most.
some messages for a select few people (no names!) every paragraph is for a different person.
i keep dreaming of you and i dont know why. i wish i could tell you everything that's on my mind. Sometimes, (seldomly, though) you're all that's in it.
i don't need you. glad to see that you don't need me too.
we used to be such great friends now i hardly even know you. all cos of that one big mistake you made. and i really want to talk to you about it but i don't even think you remember.
i want to connect with you but i don't know if you want to connect with me.
you're the first person i call when i need to vent my anger, sadness and even joy. thanks for being there :)
i wish you were deeper than that. i know its in you. i really like spending time with you though! :D we laugh at the same things, its so cool.
Friday, 26 December 2008
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change.
there's so much unspoken between us, and we feel uncomfortable around each other.
it's weird. we used to talk, didn't we?i hate feeling...out. out out out out out out.. typed it so many times it don't make sense no more, haha. like some french word.
have a good one people.
Happy CHRISTmas.
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
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I am me
i'm on my brother's com now, so i can upload some photobooth pictures:
(i realised i've been updating quite regularly. guess once i've started, it's hard to stop.)
(i just got my monthly bloody mary this morning. i guess that's why ive been so emotional/hormonal. ahaha.)
(why am i whispering?)
ahem. anyway.
beware the spider hand. ooh.
igor!
if my face was completely symmetrical. ew.
brother dearest
daddy dearest
mummy dearest
princey pie
princey poo
comwhore
comwhorez
the artsy praying mantis
Monday, 22 December 2008
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aw, bless.
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.Blessed are the meek,
for they shall possess the earth.Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they shall be satisfied.if i put my all in Jesus, no matter how many times people disappoint me, he won't.
my problems aren't as bad as i think they are. maybe i should just focus on the good not the bad.
to the friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin, have not judged me and have given me good advice: i love you. i truly do.
my doggy likes licking salty tears.
christmas shopping, watching killbill2 and guitar heroing tmr. love you guys.
goodnight.
crushpaint
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- Name: Cara
- Birthday: 1/22/1993
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 5/9/2008
About Me
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I despise instability, embrace reality, hurt easily, trust too willingly, speak my mind & live to meet the maker. I like photography, sarcasm, ferrero rochers, italian food, shetland sheepdogs, black, hair with volume, green/purple eyes, high heels, chicken flavoured instant noodles, Monosodium Glutamate & deep red hair.
